A few weeks ago, I wrote about our need for forgiveness and what that forgiveness is based on. Now let’s explore how we can forgive when it is really difficult.

Our part in the forgiveness process is explained by John Woodward in his article “Dimensions of Forgiveness.” In that article, he lists three steps. I like it because it is simple and clear.

Step 1 Forgiveness – relinquishment

The first step is giving it to God. Whatever the offense, whatever someone did to us, it is essential that we give it to God. God is now responsible for that person. That person is now answerable to God. (I’m not sure I would like to be that person.)

Romans 12:19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord.

At this point, we place our trust in God accepting the fact that He will deal with that person in His own time. We no longer have a say in it. They are now under God’s jurisdiction. He will take care of it. We leave them in God’s hands and walk away from it.

If we don’t take that step, we remain in pain and suffering. We allow it to poison us. We hang onto it like it is a treasure, not realizing it is rotten fruit. If we don’t begin this process of forgiveness, we begin to collect rotten fruit. We collect filth. Eventually, we begin to stink.

Step 2 Forgiveness – reconciliation

When the offender confesses and apologizes then we have an opportunity to reconcile. God is all about reconciliation. 

2 Corinthians 5:18-19 Now all things are of God, who has reconciled us to Himself through Jesus Christ, and has given us the ministry of reconciliation, that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not imputing their trespasses to them, and has committed to us the word of reconciliation.

This is your opportunity to show kindness to that person. You may not be able to be good friends, but you can forgive and be kind to them.

Step 3 Forgiveness – restoration

This step requires something from both parties, the offended and the offender. There must be a genuine apology, and genuine steps one and two. Knowing how much God has forgiven us will help us to be more forgiving to others. In Matthew 18:21-35, Jesus tells a story to illustrate how important forgiveness is to us. In Matthew 6:14-15 He gives us a warning about unforgiveness.

If you are still having doubts about this forgiveness process, you might want to listen to Corrie ten Boom tell about her struggle with forgiveness. If you don’t know her story it is in the book and movie, The Hiding Place. I’ve seen that the movie is on Youtube. I watched it last night.

Do you have someone you need to forgive?

Always remember that whatever God asks of us, Jesus living in us can give it. Only Jesus can live a Christlike life. Our place is to allow Him to live through us.

Words to light your path

Ephesians 4:32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ forgave you.

Colossians 3:13 bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.

Father in heaven, You promised to give us all we need for life and godliness. It is through Your son, Jesus that it is possible. Help us to let go of our treasure of rotten fruit and allow Jesus to live through us. 

All references are from the New King James Version of the Bible.